NaturalVisions Blog

Part Four – The Bryce Canyon Years

We left to make our way slowly toward Utah on February 16 following a few days shooting around Florida. Our travels took us once again to South Texas and the Rio Grande Valley, Southern Arizona for a few days of great bird photography,  a stop in Denver for a family wedding, and, finally, a few days at Capitol Reef before going to Bryce. We would arrive at Bryce Canyon April 16, 2 months to the day after leaving Florida, settling in to a site in the park’s Sunset Campground for what was supposed to be a 6 month stint as a volunteer. During that Summer I was supposed to be deciding where we would live and find work but, by the first week of August, I would be hired as a temporary replacement for an employee who took a position elsewhere. After a couple of stints as a seasonal ranger, I applied and was hired for the position I am in today. The photo here is from Denver, a little taste of the snow that would become a part of our lives.

One of the first orders of business was to find a place where my girl could get wet. And the good news was that Tropic Reservoir was just a short drive away – especially once I figured out a slightly shorter route (see Lonely Roads below). Over the next 3+ years we would spend countless hours there, beginning as soon as the road was free of snow and the reservoir was free of ice. Well, not completely free, because as soon as there was open water close to the shore, Roxy had no misgivings about going in the ice cold water (I don’t think it is ever warm enough for me).

After nearly a year of travel, things would be different now that I was working again, but one nice thing was that I was able to see Roxy every day at lunch (or dinner when I was working a later shift), something that was impossible when we were living in Florida. During the warmer months when my days off rolled around we would frequently go on some adventure, with so much to explore in the region. Quite frequently, when I would be working one of those late shifts, we would even ride over to the reservoir in the morning. There would be times when we would be off somewhere in the Grand Staircase and a body of water wasn’t available but, if I could find a creek with a little water, she would be okay with that, too. I would also go out of my way to make the next available day a swimming day.

Below is some video I took of us at Tropic Reservoir I posted to this blog back in September of 2008. In hindsight, I wish I had more video of her. These are among so many wonderful, treasured moments we spent together . . .

The Summer of 2009 began much like the others, with frequent trips to the reservoir along with our trips to explore the land. As Fall approached Roxy seemed to become less interested in swimming, even though she was quick to climb in the truck when I asked. We got some medication for her that seemed to help but, by the end of the September, she had gone swimming for the last time. The arthritis that was plaguing my beautiful girl was taking its toll. The medication seemed to help, and I was hopeful the Summer of 2010 would be much like those before, but it was not to be.

On the morning of May 27 we were outside, she enjoying the Sun on a pleasant Spring morning, me sitting behind the blind photographing the crossbills coming to my bird bath. Roxy would occasionally move to a new spot and I soon found her in close proximity to the bath. I took two photos of her that morning, with no knowledge at the time they would be the last two I would ever take of her (I choose not to count the two I took with my phone at the vet’s office, full of optimism for her return to health, the day before she passed away).

We went to the vet the afternoon of June 2, a morning in which she seemed, except for the fact the arthritis had been flaring up of late, the same as she had been for the past several months. After we got home that afternoon she was never the same again. Eight days later she would be gone. At the vet again on Wednesday June 9, blood tests revealed that her kidneys had failed. Time was not on our side . . .

As much as I would call her by her name, it was frequently just “pup” or “puppy.” And for as long as I can remember, I had a silly little tune I would sing to her, previously in a somewhat faster tempo, but slower in the last days. It went like this:

She’s my puppy
My pretty puppy
I love my puppy
My pretty puppy.

I spent a lot of time Wednesday night and Thursday morning singing this to her, softly in her ear, slowly stroking the fur on her head. I knew she was suffering and had lost all hope that the last ditch suggestion by the vet would help. On Thursday morning I made the appointment to have my beloved Roxy put to sleep.

Neither one of us followed the script I had written for us that day, our last day together, with my Roxy quietly going to sleep in my arms.

Already grieving, my broken heart could not take it any more, and shortly after 11:00 a.m on June 10, I picked up my park radio and called for assistance, my heart racing uncontrollably. By around noon I was in the E.R. The kind people who were attending to me allowed me one final opportunity to see her and, though I said goodbye, I also told her I would be back to be with her soon.

I think she had other ideas and, thinking back on it now, the look in Roxy’s eyes at that moment, firmly stamped in my memory, were her way of giving a sad, loving goodbye.

At around 1:00 that afternoon she was still alive, I know this because my neighbors came to the hospital to check on me let me know about Roxy. They checked on her again when they returned home around 3:30 and by then she was gone. Shortly after 5:30, while still in the hospital, I received the news that Roxy had quietly passed away.

I believe, with all my heart, Roxy wanted it that way . . .

(Clicking the photo above, also from May 27, will open a new window with a musical statement of my deep love for her.)

I truly miss her, we had such a wonderful life together – even though it did not really start out that way. Roxy’s ashes are here with me and she will forever be in my heart.

I love you Roxy and, as I told you so many times, “You’re the best puppy in the whole wide world!”

Lonely Roads

A couple of hundred feet from the little place where I live is a locked gate that leads to the Dixie National Forest from Bryce Canyon National Park. I opened that gate today and drove out onto Forest Road 096, a route I have taken dozens of times in the past 3 years.

After about a mile it merges with F.R. 88, and just past that junction is a prairie dog town. On another day I might have stopped there, picked up my camera, and taken a few photos of prairie dogs. Continuing, after another mile or so I encountered a pair of Pronghorn bucks out in East Creek Meadow, not unlike my many previous trips through here and, on one of those other days, I might have photographed them, too.

Along the way there were wildflowers just coming into bloom, butterflies were flitting about, and, after leaving the meadow and entering the forest again, there birds singing in the trees. On one of those other days, I might have stopped to photograph the birds, butterflies, and flowers too.

After 4 miles I came to the junction of F.R. 88 and East Fork Road. I turned left as I had those many times before and, after another 2 miles, came to the junction with F.R. 572. Just like those other times, I did not turn, but kept going, past the Osprey nest toward the south end of the lake, just to see if there were any birds.

By mid-June most of the waterfowl are gone, long since having continued their journey north, though the local breeding Canada Geese and Mallards are there, as expected with their goslings and ducklings. A pair of Western Grebes were out diving in the middle of the lake and the Osprey was firmly planted on her nest.

At the south end of Tropic Reservoir I turned around, slowly making my way back north, scanning the waters for birds along the way. Back at the north end of the reservoir I once again made the left turn onto F.R. 572, passed in front of the dam, then made the turn into the same spot where I had parked so many times previously.

I spent about an hour there, not unusual really, but sometimes I would have been there for two. I listened to the waves along the shore, skipped a few rocks, listened to the birds singing and hummingbirds buzzing, and also watched a pair of Pine Siskins going back and forth to the same branch in a Ponderosa Pine near the shore, more than likely feeding their chicks.

I finally left and, as I might have on other trips to the reservoir, took a different route home.

But the biggest difference from those other days in the past is that, for the first time, I made this trip alone . . .

June 17, 2010